First of all, I am starting the second part of the course, after a long pause. After receiving feedback from my Advanced Practice Tutor, I was a little lost. Why did this happen? Because she was right. The selected topics turned out to be not my deep ideas that would trigger emotions and motivate me to work and, especially, to conduct deeper research. Therefore, it took me time to decide what is important to me, what triggers me to create art, and where I am in my materials and ideas.
Сity portrait, 2023, canvas, paint, recycled newspapers, screws, metal grid, cardboard, acrylic, fixatives, wood, 135 x 135 x 14 cm.
Therefore, for two months I created and asked only one question - where am I in my works? Well, of course, this was not just one question, I analysed why I work with these materials, what is most important to me and what I want to say. In addition, I was looking for points of contact between my colour fields and sculptures.
What surprised me was that I began to destroy my colour fields. I no longer felt the euphoria and happiness with which I started this work three years ago. Something changed in me after the start of the war between Russia and Ukraine. I have no right to make happy art.
Between. Red, 2023, recycled newspapers, acrylic, water-based fixatives, plaster on canvas, wood. The width of one panel is 79 cm., 150 x 237 x 10 cm.
Therefore, I took my latest works (colour-field and sculpture) for analysis, which I consider the most successful, and tried to divide them according to the method of work. In the ‘paintings’, there was a lot of meditative, repetitive work with colour. This is an endless repetition of arranging beautiful folds of paper.
At home, 2023, recycled wood, metal, concrete, burlap, copper-coated paper, cardboard, newspapers; acrylic paint, sand, screws, nails, 63 x 72 x 66 cm.
In sculpture, this is always a lot of mental work. I can't even listen to music when I'm sculpting because it distracts me from the focus. The selection of materials, form, and method of fixation is a continuous analysis that develops only through a sense of balance and composition.
I started a new colour field the same way I would start a sculpture. I felt sorry that I would “ruin” the beautiful colour. But I plucked up the courage and continued working. There was a CONFLICT here between the beauty of “commercial work” (as some call this type of my works) and the direct and bold language of sculpture. It is a conflict within me between the desire to explore beauty, colour and aesthetics, and the pain of the moral loss of my loved ones. I want to resolve it.
Beyond this, I see a connection and an additional aspect to explore CATHARSIS. Because globally I have lost the meaning of creating art. If people support a murderer (Putin), why do they need art? But something tells me that if they don’t hear other words and languages, maybe art is the last thing left... Through catharsis - experiencing a negative emotion and subsequent liberation from it, a person can begin to see the light, and become a better or happier person.
Therefore, at the moment I see conflict as a problem and catharsis as a solution to this. Analysing existing research formats, I am leaning toward essays or active research. At the moment, I do not see a clear separation between these two forms of research. Because in what I want to do is both: "carefully observing an object or behaviour or examining and comparing situations or information" and at the same time "an investigation into the efficacy of a particular process or action through testing out alternatives" (OCA materials).
Ideally, through practical work in the studio, perhaps with the involvement of outsiders (conducting surveys) and through finished physical work and/or an exhibition, I would like to answer questions that concern me, develop theories, confirm conclusions and make practical discoveries. I envision supporting the physical work with some written piece. It is likely will be a 5000-word Action Research.
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