Today I am starting this Part 2. of the course. Actually, I already was working on the projects from this part but did not write anything. Because so many things happened over the two months, I need to bring everything in order.
First. My country invaded Ukraine. Russia started the war. On February 24, 2022, my world, which I lived and enjoyed perfectly, changed once and for all.
In the first hours of the event, I did not believe it. I thought it was training or something someone mixed up... My real world is friends in Ukraine, a large number of relatives of friends and, in general, Ukraine is brothers and sisters. My real world is intelligence prevailing over ignorance. In my World, exists freedom of speech and action, dominating non-standard and independent thinking. In my World, people do not fight, but try to negotiate, do not war, but talk. Therefore, at first, I just cried and perceived everything as a bad dream. This was not my world anymore.
February 24, 2022, recycled newspapers, acrylic, water-based fixatives, plaster on canvas, 127 x 106 x 12 cm.
Later I had to take a sedative. When its dose in the body reached the required level, I began to express my opinion on social networks. Then there was a second shock from the number of my acquaintances, friends and relatives who began to explain to me what I allegedly do not understand - 8 years of war on Dombas, Europe's attitude towards Russia, the threat from NATO, America's incitement and so on. Here it should be noted, that many of these "explanations" were expressed in my address in abusive Russian language and in the context of the fact that I am a traitor who snickered in Germany.
This all contradicted my inner convictions and knowledge of history, friendship and normality. I asked them questions back: how did Russia develop its economy? education? healthcare over the past 20/30 years? How often do we change the president? Is it right to have one authoritarian leader for so long? Why for many years the presence of NATO in Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia did not interfere with the Russian Federation, and now it has become dangerous? What has Russia done to unite with Europe? Is there freedom of speech in Russia? Why are there so many who disagree with Putin's policies? Why are protests so harshly suppressed? and so on...
Well, the last straw that crossed out my former life was the attitude of my parents and sister to the war. I could tolerate the aggressiveness of strangers to me, even some of my (now) former acquaintances, but relatives...
I didn't even realize in the first few weeks of this hell what their position was. I thought no normal person and, of course, my dearest people would not be able to justify the war and support this horrible person. It turned out they could. My father went against me, my sister said that I was behaving disgustingly, and my mother continued to talk to me about fakes in Bucha.
I cut off all connections.
I can't figure out what happened to people? Where have the moral principles of an entire nation gone? Is propaganda really enough to kill a person? Or am I living in a fictional world?
Returning to our course. Now it seems to me that everything I do is actually devoid of its meaning. How I can create art when people are dying physically and morally?! When I asked this question, my friend, from Kharkiv, said "- please continue, I look at your colour, and I feel at least a little bit better!"
Now I see a big reaction from artists, and it turns out that in a situation where no one hears anyone, only art can speak and be heard.
But all this made me think globally, what am I doing, and how do I react to what is happening?
Video of the work: https://youtube.com/shorts/pFY3lAMgPQo?feature=share
During this time, I was able to make only one work. It was just a reaction and tears. But what distinguishes, for example, Guernica Picasso from my work? What exactly needs to be said or done to make people think about what they do and who they support? I will make a separate study on this topic.
Second. Parallel to this process, I received the results for the previous course "Painting 2. Studio Practice". 77 points.
During this course, I "discovered" synaesthesia and explained basically my whole life... and my meaning in art. And that's just 77. And I felt it and realized that what I understood about me is only mine and has nothing to do with the viewer and, in principle, with contemporary art. Since I did not strive to do something modern, I just followed my essence and tried to be eco-friendly)
«You have submitted a comprehensive and investigative body of work which shows a deep awareness of your themes of synaesthesia. This has pushed the boundaries of how you interpret painting by extending your explorations into dance, body movements, digital drawings and composing music. This rigorous engagement gives a focus to your visuals through colour, feeling and physical relationships into making. The video documentation of your performances when making gives a convincing insight into how you have translated your themes in engaging ways.
Your critical review has been researched and synthesised with an attention to your learning. Complex ideas have been dissected and explained by referring to and embedding critical thinking from historical and contemporary references. There is consistent reflection on your learning and the more you unpack your work and its connotations, the more you can articulate your intentions.
There was the danger of repetition initially but through problem solving and experimentation, the work veers into more diverse areas of sculpture, scale and colour. To move forward, expand this into contemporary art and your placement of where your work is situated both physically and conceptually. This is starting to happen with your critical thinking into how synaesthesia fits into wider contexts. To move forward allow your work to breathe by letting it grow and evolve into more ambiguous work other than the familiar. Extend the other creative processes, such as, the performative element and the music making. This will show alternatives and encompass other dynamic processes other than the individualised paintings.» (OCA Tutor)
So now that the agenda for me is focusing on Course Projects, Parallel project, Critical Review, and my independent practice, I want to separate it all and outline the directions.
Course Projects will be more experimentation, testing, questioning and challenging of ideas, processes and context with a focus on developing personal contextual references and building upon my knowledge and understanding of the contemporary sculptural practice. Have fun.
In a Parallel project, I will focus on a completely new idea that has now arisen in connection with the war. This is my identification and culture. I will try to explain or figure out for myself why this happened and how to live with it?
As for the Critical Review, I will still clarify, but I think I want to move towards Serra, Barlow, Kapoor and/or how other artists discuss and develop the theme of their culture and society, how they express a political position and criticize/ask questions to society or to a person, develop the consciousness?
In addition to all this, I will continue my own practice and it will deal with colour and emotions. During a big break in work, I realized that I can’t help but touch, feel colour)))) in the literal sense - I need to knead the paint with my hands, live in colour. It's kind of a physiological need. I have a few ideas on how to continue to delve into the colour itself, and I'm wondering what if I shift this technique to figurative work?!
Third. I had my first big solo show in Berlin.
It was a great experience. Long and heavy preparation, transportation (8.5 hours drive) and installation of works. Morally, it was hard to rejoice when there was a war going on. In Europe, the oppression of everything Russian began, and we were worried that vandalism might happen against the Russian artist.
Unexpectedly for me, I was supported by the international organization "Journey Through the Senses" and proposed to create a project with Playtronica.
They developed a device that allows translating objects or even a human body into music. For this project, I needed to create a piece with conductive material in a short time.
First test:
The result is an incredibly interesting audio experience from touching my work.
But the whole snag was in my internal disagreement - the colour did not fit the music. So I decided that I needed to develop the music myself. (Just a reminder that I don't have a musical education, and I don't want to study it, as I'm experimenting with pure reason without the boundaries of rules).
The copper-coated paper and pure copper gave me ideas for using a harder material for the outdoors, and glossy material gave a completely different feeling from the artwork - sort of a Koons...
I am sure that all these new elements will somehow be reflected in my practice.
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