Answering very objectively - I knew in advance all the answers and feedback that the public gave me.
First and most important, my work is not for everyone. On the one hand, this is what I wanted, but on the other hand, I wrote so much about how I wanted to stay down to earth and people. I've visited a lot of exhibitions lately and I can say that compared to those that were super "incomprehensible" for the audience (I was accompanied by people not involved in art and collected their feedback), my works are easier to read. The working method, colours and materials are clear and the idea of tactility and materiality comes first. In contrast to this experience, a large art exhibition, where it became clear to me that I make not commercial works, but for connoisseurs.
At the same time, all respondents responded maximally to “positive” and “kind” colours, and dark and sad works - “yes, we understand that this is war and sadness, but we don’t want that.” And here a question arises without an answer: for whom and why does the artist create art?!
Every person knows what he is for and what he should do, he just needs to understand/hear/get to it. I knew and predicted the reactions of the audience, even my fellow students at the institute.
Now, I understand that my work is tactile, personal, and made in opposition to commercial standards. They are made from garbage, do not last, and it is clear how they were created.
This all opposes new progressive technologies and points to the sensitivity and vitality of our world. An artistic statement is a personal story told through material, it is an idea and concept that is endowed with experiences, trauma, interests and love. I will continue to simply listen to myself and reflect. Perhaps one day, one person will feel through my works that the world is beautiful in its materiality, experience and aesthetics and the world will become a little better.
p.s. Yesterday I stood in line for three hours to vote against Putin. I was lucky, many stood for 8 hours and the door was closed in front of them. Today the result is known to everyone. But I want to talk about something else.
What struck me was that two women wanted to remove posters against the war, and when they were not allowed to do so, they became very aggressive. Fury was expressed throughout their entire body and face, the way their eyes turned red, the way they looked at the opposite side and how arrogantly they raised their heads, showing that they were right and above “this.” At that moment I had a counter-reaction, and when I pulled myself together (all this was a fraction of a second) I thought, what can I do here? I don’t mean if I started a dialogue with them now - it’s impossible, there would be an uproar, and no one would prove anything. How then to communicate? And for what exactly? After all, it turns out that it’s like, for example, I say I love the colour blue, and they will say we’re red, and we’ll start arguing which colour is better?! This is absurd. It turns out that you don’t need to show which colour is better, but which colour is best for reading, writing, loving, and just being happy. For some actions, it will be blue, and for others, it will be red. So here, too, probably, if you want freedom of speech, action and choice, then this is one political path, but if you want NATO not to expand, there are no gays in the country and for Russia to win over Europe, this is a different political path. And here again, there is a big DISCLAIMER - how the context and questions of choice are formulated. And this context and nuances are the difference in understanding the world. This is an experience that everyone has collected as best they can and now applies it. It is impossible to change anyone in any way if they themselves are not open to it. If I continue to make my “negative” art, they won’t even look - thinking in advance that I’m on the other side, which means I’m the enemy. If I continue to make commercial art, there won't be anything there to make them think that the world is a little bigger than what they think it is.
…Therefore, you just need to stay true to yourself and read more books and communicate with different people. I don’t know how else to describe this utopia without an answer.
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