I want to start with the most important and significant commentary of my tutor, which forced me to stop and conduct a critical reflection on my practice.
“what is it you are trying to get across in the work? Bring the theory to the practice or the practice closer to the theory. … where are you in the work?... ” OCA Tutor
To do this, I tried to answer the following questions:
1. What is the central message or concept I want to convey through my artwork? Define the core themes or ideas I want my work to express.
Find the beauty in everything, Tolerance, Peace, Fragility, Temporality of our life, Constant change, Development, Work, Critical Thinking
But in such a stream of consciousness, it is again very difficult to identify the most important. My husband came to my rescue. He held an hour-long session with me asking clarifying questions. The next day, after reflecting on my answers, I identified one main thread of the narrative to which I constantly return.
This is the state of being different and its boundaries.
From an early age, either due to a lack of iron in my blood and slow reactions (I was bad at school), or because of the feeling of synesthesia when I see everyone with glowing halos but they are bad people, or simply because I am thinking in a complicated manner due to my nature (for example, like this sentence, long and complexly constructed) - I was often perceived as a little “different”. Perhaps it was just my gut feeling. But I was always uncomfortable with why everyone in the class understood the task this way, and only I would do it completely differently.
Therefore, in the way I make my art and from what materials I always emphasize this “uncomfortability”, otherness, opposition. I challenge accepted normality, question norms and established principles.
My unconventional materials irritate viewers and commercial galleries, and this motivates me to create it even more.
My working method is clumsy, direct, primitive, physical - opposed to glossy, commercial and mechanical production.
Windle for lifting water [online] At: https://belim-krasim.ru/vetryak-dlya-podema-vodi-video.html (Accessed 25.04.2024)
In my works, I am like a sensitive windmill that turns against all logic and against the wind. But the most important thing here is the reason for such a turn and its borders. I'm interested in why in some cases I feel that there is a skew. That people do not see other aspects of the situation and are limited to only one or even several aspects, and do not want to see the “picture” in general.
At the same time, I am also interested in understanding and talking about the boundaries of this “other opinion.” Because it turns out that when society denies or prohibits something, that forbidden becomes desirable and takes on distorted, exaggerated forms. Thus, this “alternative” is endowed with a negative connotation. So, I’m interested in looking for such an embodiment of an alternative opinion that would not repel the viewer but would attract him and motivate him to dialogue.
2. What aspects of contemporary culture or personal experience am I addressing in my work? Reflect on how my artwork relates to broader societal issues or my own lived experiences.
The modern aspects of culture that I discuss in my works are a war (personal injury, propaganda, post-conflict), the influence of digital culture (change in values and trends), the manifestation of synaesthesia (involvement of visceral feelings), I am looking for new ways of use of unconventional material in modern art. And I bring a conceptual aspect to my work. Through the provocation of the viewer, I stimulate critical thinking about social norms, aesthetics, culture, politics and ethics.
3. Analyse Your Artwork: Look closely at my recent artworks and consider what themes, symbols, or techniques are present. Think about how these elements relate to my personal experiences or the concepts I've been exploring in my research.
I'll only take the two most recent ones to narrow down my search. The themes of colour, hyper-physicality and tactility, unusual material, and working method are evident in these works.
These all topics relate to my personal experience as follows:
The colour is related to my synaesthesia. The sensation of colour when I experience strong emotions, as well as certain food, sex, a luminous halo and sometimes music.
The super-physical and tactile is also associated with synaesthesia, the desire to reproduce these sensations in reality. Beyond this is the simple enjoyment of physical communication with objects. Creation of feelings in the physical world.
Unusual material is associated with the personal experience of being different. As well as a natural desire to test norms and principles, to see the facets of diversity. And I intuitively feel when there is no diversity or an unnatural limitation occurs. In addition, I found a connection between building materials and my childhood, when as a child I reassembled and rebuilt old objects and building materials from wood, metal and burlap into something new.
The method of "making with hands", drilling, nailing, sawing, sewing, and painting also comes from this youthful period. In addition, this involvement of the whole body in the creation process enhances the naturalness and authenticity of my works. My reaction to the war is connected with the appearance of new elements such as torn materials, broken boards, as well as dark colours. This could be me living through trauma or the process of self-healing.
How do these elements relate to the concepts I'm exploring?
Through colour and unconventional materials, I explore issues of beauty and aesthetics, issues of materialism and consumption. For example, on the one hand these are attractive colour fields, but on the other hand, these are simple newspapers or building materials that have minimal or no value. At the same time, tearing apart the beautiful colour field with ordinary wooden sticks, which are broken, with burrs and nails, and I am looking for the line between the moment at which beauty ends and aesthetics begins.
In addition, colour, increased tactility and non-standard materials help me achieve maximum embodiment of the four senses - vision, touch, hearing and smell, which enhances communication with the viewer. I'm interested in developing visceral feelings in him. In this state, I present to the viewer the topic of control over information, propaganda methods, and discuss the issue of “another perspective”, a different point of view. I discuss issues of the temporality and fragility of our lives.
4. Where do I see myself in my artwork? Explore how my personal identity, experiences, and emotions influence my artistic practice.
Of course, my culture and my personality play a big role in what I create. Without considering the fact of my childhood, my character comes out in my work in the form of a direct, clear statement. I am categorical and like to work quickly. Composing on the go, not thinking, but feeling. I notice the details and admire them, but I also realize the whole picture and the context, understand and manipulate these small and large details at the same time as a whole.
I always wanted to hide my femininity, because it seemed to me that a woman is emotionally unstable and very vague, and cannot focus on the most important thing. But over time, it seems to me, I learned to control myself better and now I deliberately highlight femininity in my works - demonstrating the fragility or softness, the playfulness of materials, or the monotony of work that men usually do not do.
In addition, my culture is evident in my art through the material and method of creation. If you go outside of Moscow, you can see a large number of wooden buildings. Russians value and love wood. But due to the decline in the economy, and in everything, these wooden buildings are old, darkened, destroyed... This is the most important thing that is reflected in my broken, sometimes old pieces of wood.
The way I create work is often called «Tyap-lyap» - “sloppy stuff” in my culture. It is true that there is a stereotype about Russians that the quality of their work is low and their products are worthless. Historically it has happened that there are no more professionals left working with their hands, and those who are, drink a lot. Therefore, there is no chance of getting any quality product. It's like I'm trying to justify my culture. It’s as if I make my sculptures clumsily, carelessly, roughly, hastily, sloppily, but I take these methods to the limit. Thus, at first glance, this unprofessionalism becomes an over-personal manifestation of character. A unique feature of my culture is a personal and deep relationship with a material (or person), achieved through attention to detail, insight into the essence of an object (or person), revealing the soul (spiritual contact) and support in any difficult situation. Such a sentimental bear. It seems that he does everything clumsily and does not want to make contact at all, but if this happens, then he can give a lot for maintaining and preserving. Where are these qualities of people now? What happened to this?
5. Experiment with Different Approaches: Experiment with new materials, techniques, or approaches to expand the range of my artistic expression.
I'm working on a temporary installation project, I've successfully tested upcycling and made paper which gives me further direction to experiment, I've collaborated with a professional varnisher and my colour fields and sculptures have changed. I will describe these processes in subsequent posts.
6. What specific materials or processes can I explore more to deepen my practice? Try experimenting with new techniques or mediums to see how they affect the message or impact of my work. This experimentation can help me further refine my artistic voice.
Strengthen synesthetic and visceral provocations in my art and try new manifestations. Use the manifestation of synaesthesia to enhance image formation.
Strengthen old practices and try new things in the manifestation of propaganda - emotional appeal, simplification, repetition, demonization, selective presentation, and symbolism.
Find manifestations of changes from post-digital culture to post-conflict, post-truth.
Since the concepts are very voluminous, I will highlight those aspects that are the most interesting to me - in propaganda, it is simplification and selective presentation, and in digital culture, it is authenticity and vulnerability and temporality.
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I am haunted by the obsession of involving the sixth sense - taste. Then all six senses can be represented in artwork.
In addition, my dream is to collaborate with a theatre or opera and create decorations.
I also saw that one comedian hired an artist and musicians to create such a complex event.
7. What emotions or concepts do I want viewers to experience when engaging with my artwork? Consider the emotional impact I intend to evoke and how I can achieve this through my artistic choices.
Emotions: catharsis, purity (clarity), I would like to stimulate visceral emotions in the viewer at the moment when he perceives my art. For example, if in my work I discuss injustice, then I would like the person to recognise this injustice and not repeat it in life.
Concepts: Challenge the truth. multiple positions and opinions, one big global world, tolerance
I create art that's all about embracing being different. From my early days, I've felt like I see the world a little differently. Whether it's because of my synaesthesia, where I see people with glowing halos, or just my natural tendency to think in complex ways, I've always felt a bit "other."
My art reflects this feeling of being different. I use unconventional materials and methods to challenge what's considered normal. I want to make people question their assumptions, and see things from a new perspective.
Through my art, I aim to create a space where people can explore their own differences and find beauty in what makes them unique. I want my work to spark conversations and inspire people to think about things in a new light.
8. How can I refine the focus of my research? Clarify the specific questions or themes you want to explore in your artwork and streamline your research to align with those goals.
What am I challenging? I can't accept injustice or limiting rules, norms and principles. For example, I was left with an indelible impression that at the Russian institute I was not allowed to experiment and try new things. Now I associate this limitation in education with how such limits provoked support for aggressive war by violence by both professors and students of this institute. But in order to focus my practice and research, I need to understand what exactly am I challenging.
1. It is quite obvious that the entire system of classical education. Rules of the system - we paint in oil on canvas, a figurative composition or a portrait. In my art, I paint with household paints on pieces of wood, which are sculptures and form an abstract composition. This is the complete opposite of the norm.
2. I also realized, that I deliberately began to act against the commercial art market. It tells me - the ideal art object for sale is diamonds in bronze, perfectly pink in colour and at a low price. I make art that is fragile and timeless, from contradictory and unusable materials, a complex and deep colour palette with great cost.
3. Also, the popularity of artificial intelligence and all the preoccupation with digital media causes me a counter-reaction. I create every millimetre of my work by hand, without precision or calculation and only under the influence of feelings.
9. Narrow Down Themes: From my broad exploration of topics such as war, digital culture, synaesthesia, and materiality, I need to select a few core themes that resonate most strongly with my artistic vision. These themes should serve as the focal points of my research.
The main idea of my work is the recognition and demonstration of difference. This contains for me both the general state of understanding the diversity of the world, a different culture, tradition, society and geography, and the particular state of being, feeling and thinking differently. The main motivation for this emphasis on difference and diversity stems from the problem that exists in many societies of not accepting or understanding this diversity. In my opinion, not understanding the overall picture of the world, not seeing all points of view, and not accepting certain facts lead to limited judgment, manipulation of opinion, aggression and intolerance.
Since I was born with a different sense of how colours react to emotions than some people, I can imagine that from birth some people might also, for example, find the same gender attractive. Without recognizing this difference, society does not accept the very nature that created it.
In addition, there is our accumulated experience - culture, education, social environment, which shape our emotions and reactions to events and actions. At the same time, there is something that also affects our perception, but is unconscious, and uncontrolled. This can be either an external phenomenon - affect, or an internal physiological one, for example, the level of hormones in the blood or ovulation in a woman.
Also important is the fact that nothing is permanent, all entities in our world are subject to movement and change, but for some reason, people forget about this and put labels of permanence on the norms and rules. They build theories on outdated ideas that have lived without change or adaptation.
Therefore, my reaction to the denial of difference, and the lack of understanding of constant change provokes me to challenge this behaviour and stereotypes.
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