A Monument To Something That Was Not, 2020, Merino wool kids jumper, cement, gold paint, 8H x L23 x 18W cm. Podium 120H x L50 x 50W
It was my favourite Merino wool jumper, which I washed the wrong way and it became baby size. The idea to use this jumper in sculpture came to me a long time ago, but it was waiting for the right moment. Then a very personal story begins the essence of which I can only convey in general terms. It seems to me that man tends to create an ideal for himself that he dreams of, and if these dreams are not fulfilled, then frustration and disappointment come. But in the end, it was all just a dream. Or was it no? In other words, we create something that we begin to believe in so much that it becomes a reality for us. That, on the one hand, can have a positive experience, and on the other hand, negative. So, for example, belief in an ideal person with whom we were not together can create an idol. After all, we do not know what his character, habits, and so on, but we have already created an ideal and believed in him sometimes more than in real person.
In this work, I indirectly touch upon the topic of motherhood. The loss of a child by his parents before his birth is a multifaceted trauma, of which this unrealized ideal is a part. At the same time, I try to see the other side of the question - after all, there was no one physical in its world, then why man would suffer? There was no man outside the mother. There were only dreams and plans of two people. These plans were materially embodied through the purchase of children's things.
In other words, we decided something for ourselves and erected a monument to a certain idol who didn't even have a body.
How can this work be perceived from the outside? On a huge pedestal is a cemented, expensive kids Merino wool pullover, covered in gold paint.
I was looking for a form of jumper for a long time. Shaping the child's body, the entire object has looked weird and scary. So I rejected this idea. A simple and neatly folded pullover shows the care and tenderness with which someone has done this process.
An important part of the work is its description. The viewer can continue the title “A Monument To Something That Was Not” by reasoning, so there was no child? Monument to the Child Who Wasn't. But here is not the child himself, but only the thing that we bought for him. Material reification by the parents of their hopes. Matter - material hardens, becomes stronger in this world, receives its material shell instead of a child who has not come. On the other hand, where does this moment of beginning something in this world began? Where is the origin of life? After all, a woman sometimes feels inside herself the process of the birth of a new life ...
Calling this work "A Monument To Something That Was Not " I, on the one hand, state the fact that the fact of the birth of a child did not happen, on the other hand, I provoke since one can question the moment of existence of small life. And here you can see this name as the artist's personal view of a specific life situation.
I specifically wanted to emphasize with a massive pedestal the idea of solidity and seriousness, the intentions of the parents who are erecting this monument. A round column, for example, would not be massive enough, while the corners in the current version add rigidity and seriousness. It should be made of heavy, massive material, cement or stone, but delicately finished. The colour is cool in contrast to the warm gold of the pullover. At the same time, this support opposes the softness of the wool material. The structure of the Merino wool exudes through the precious plating of gold, thereby creating the feeling of a gem in a cruel environment.
I think this work is especially successful because the material chosen in itself reveals the problem, and the topic concerned is personal and relevant at all times. But, unfortunately, it seems to me that this is far from a new way to conveying emotions utilizing cementing the material.
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